Deep Blue Sea
October 15, 1999

Why do people still give director Renny Harlin money? If there's anything to be learned from Cutthroat Island, it's that this guy is trouble.

With Deep Blue Sea, we see another crappy horror movie in the Alien model. A shark research facility in the middle of the ocean is terrorized by some of its super-intelligent test subjects.

The sharks were made smart by the scientists, through the magic of 'gene therapy,' adding human brain cells (possibly the scriptwriter's?) to their brains. Somehow all this business is supposed to cure Alzheimer's or something.

One of the people present when the sharks go wacky is the billionaire funder of the research project, played by Samuel Jackson. As far as I'm concerned, Jackson is on thespian probation. I think he's a very good actor, but someone must keep him from these roles. He's terrible in this, and this is the second time he's worked with Harlin. Add this with his cheesy performance as a Jedi wonk in the recent Star Wars film and you've got a meaty stew of poor choices.
Keep on the straight and narrow from now on, Jackson!

Also, let me pause with a warning to Ronny Cox (Deliverance, Robocop,Beverly Hills Cop). Uncredited or not, no matter how short your little cameo was, you were in this stinky movie, and I'm telling everybody! Bwahahahahahaha!

Ahem. Back to the review.
The computer-generated sharks are about as cheesy looking as you can possibly imagine. Another interesting thing about the sharks is their ability to change size when it suits them. One moment they're the size of a submarine, the next moment they can go through a small hatch door, or chase L.L. Cool J. down a hallway filled with water only 4 feet deep.

Yes, you heard me right! Rapper L.L. Cool J. is menaced by sharks! This is yet another bit of evidence for a hypothesis of mine. If there is a secondary character in a horror movie played by a rapper, he or she WILL NOT DIE.

I personally have witnessed three Davis movies which support this theory.

Film Rapper Played A... Survived?
Anaconda Ice Cube Cameraman Yes
Halloween H20 L.L. Cool J. Security Guard Yes
Deep Blue Sea L.L. Cool J. Cook Yes

See you at the movies. Save me the unstained seat.